Monday, May 10, 2010

You've Got Celiac Disease? (Backing Away) What Is That??

Taken from "Ask the Teen" (Celiac Questions) from, Marina Keegan, 17
How to Respond to Hilarious Celiac Questions

Q: Dear Marina,
I'm always being asked questions about celiac disease and it's driving me crazy! Some people are just so ignorant. Do you ever get asked questions and how do you respond to them?



A: All the time! Here are my Top 10 Hilarious Celiac Questions:

1. Going on a field trip
Teacher: "Wait, Marina! We can't leave without your Epi-pen!"
Me: "Oh, actually, I don't need an epi-pen, celiac disease isn't anaphylactic."

2. Practically every day
Friend: "Marina, What are you doing? You can't eat potato chips!!!" (Snatches them away)
Me: "Yeah, I know, I'm actually so upset about the test we just got back that I'm committing suicide by eating only gluten from now on."
Friend: "What!?
Me: "Ha ha. I know what I can eat."

3. Friend: "Do you want a sandwich?"
Me: "No thanks, I can't eat flour."
Friend: "Oh, okay, cool, do you want a cookie?"
4. Friend: "Wouldn't it be funny if you like kissed a boy who had just eaten pizza or something and then got really sick, like that girl who died from kissing that boy who was eating peanuts?"
Me: "Yeah, that would be absolutely hilarious (cough, cough)."

5. Out for lunch
Friend: "Marina, do you want to try some of this cake?"
Other friend: "Don't be stupid! Marina's allergic to glucose, she can't eat that."
Me: "Good thing there's no glucose in this ice cream I'm eating right now."

6. Later, on the field trip
A different teacher: "Oh! Don't forget to bring your epi-pen on the tour section."
Me: "For the last time! I don't need an Epi-pen!"

7. In the cafeteria while I'm eating rice
Friend: "Wait, Marina, isn't there flour in rice?"
Me: "Umm, no... Actually rice is its own thing."

8. Out to dinner
Friend: "Wait, if I take a sip of your coke will I like, get your 'no bread' thing?"
Me: "Well, there's only a 10 percent chance that you might, but I wouldn't risk it."

9. Girl: "Wait, so why can't you eat bread again?"
Me: "Well, its called celiac disease and..."
Boy: "Woah, is that like a STD?"
Me: (Oh man)

10. With my best friend
Me: "Hey, can I have a piece of your candy?"
Friend: "Umm, no you're allergic."
Me: "No, actually, I can eat those."
Friend: "Well, this is a new flour-filled version of that same candy."
Me: "Righttt... now stop being stingy and give me a piece!"

One more... On the bus returning form the field trip
A third teacher: "Marina, you have your Epi- pen right?"
Me: "Yeah, I have it, don't worry."

I thought this was a good representation of some of the daily things Celiacs go through.   How many blank stares have you gotten from the wait staff in restaurants and grocery stores?

Let's hear some of your stories...............

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